A Momentous Occasion

Yesterday Justin and I went down to the courthouse to get our marriage license. It still astounds me that anyone can plop out a baby but you need to make vows to get a tax break, but whatever, this is beside my current point.

We were expecting a crowd, or at least a line, something similar to jury duty or the DMV. I work across the street from the courthouse in LA, that place is a mess. Instead, the courthouse in Orange County is tucked away on a quiet street in a tree-lined neighborhood. We put 45 minutes into the meter, just in case.

Once there, it's more like a library than a bustling place of law-happening. The marriage license office was a room with a few desks scattered about, very orderly. No other couples were there, so the first guy we made eye contact with waved us over. We'd filled out the form online ahead of time, so the guy checked our IDs and printed out the form for us to look over. We swore that it was true, then he gestured at Justin.

"The groo--I mean, you sign here." He gestures to me. "And you sign here, on the line for Party B."

No where on our license do the words "bride" or "groom" appear. Instead, it says "Party A" and "Party B."

You cannot imagine how much this meant to me. THIS is how it is supposed to be. Devoid of gender roles, of tradition, of judgment on your sexuality. You have chosen a person to enter into a partnership with, and that is all. You do not agree to any particular title, there was no feeling of oppression to fit into the entirety of a label when really all I wanted to say was that this is the person that I've chosen to legally be a member of my family. No more, no less. We'll agree to share our debts and our profits, file our taxes together, and be the one that is notified in the event that anything happens to the other. Maybe someday we'll buy a condo together. We don't need a religious sanction, just the great state of California.

It felt like the stars had aligned and that this, after ten years of partnership and eight of co-habitation, this was the right time to formalize the declaration that we had made so long ago. Now it was fair--anyone can make this choice with any other person of legal age they choose to do so with.

Party A. Party B. Spouses for life.

Count me happy to be "Party B."